Next phase thinking - 5 Courage and Relevance

Most of us around my lunch table were over 50 years of age. Not a coincidence; I’ve worked with some of them for over 20 years. A question that always arises with this cohort is how we stay relevant. In fact, feeling irrelevant is one of the challenges when firms force their senior people to retire. To try and stay relevant can be doomed, if you’re not clear who you want to be relevant to, and for what.

A high-level discussion around a board table is my idea of fun. Perhaps it goes back to my youth in Ireland and in Oxford where the craic, and then the late-night conversations were the essence of growth. But does any talk fest, such as a boardroom lunch, matter? Are our thoughts relevant? 

Most of my coaching work is like this. Helping people into their new phase thinking calls on all the wisdom, caring, knowledge and experience I can muster. It requires both of us to have the courage to be wrong, to be ignorant, to express tough feelings. It often requires us to let go of trying to be right and to feel our way towards new ideas and actions that are relevant to the true situation. Everything can seem desperately tangled and impenetrable using old thinking, whereas a sign of next phase thinking is that you detect new underlying patterns and rhythms to issues. That's what leads to new careers, bigger roles and better systemic outcomes. 

Feeling irrelevant is deeply disturbing but it’s also a sign that you’re outgrowing your old role. While others can do the expert tasks that you’re known for, your mind is moving into addressing a different level of problems. You’re caring about different people. You are becoming relevant to a whole new arena of endeavour.

Each of us in the room has had to do this several times in our careers. An executive role is categorically different from a board role, so moving into a board means, quite literally, looking at different details and resolving problems in a different way. What’s relevant is your capacity to help the whole group come up with a robust solution to a complex issue. Similarly, I’m entering a new phase where no one skill is relevant but my particular blend of experience - sitting with intense feelings, facing difficult problems and seeing through messy systems - means I can help. My ‘next phase’ means new thinking and new feeling, but is necessary simply because of my own growth journey.

So if you’re feeling your relevance is slipping, divert time from trying to buttress an outdated version of yourself. Use the time to craft new relevance to a new cohort of people you care for. Centre it around how you’re growing rather than your past, and around who you are, rather than what you can do.

I feel like I gained a lot from sharing a few sandwiches & sushi with some professional friends. I was provoked. Let me know what these reflective posts have provoked in you!